SELF-forgiveness on Anger



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience irresponsibility within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest irresponsibility in myself, my world and in my life this far.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself away to the mind and to exist as irresponsible person
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up within me and take responsibility for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to the mind and continue to deliberately not take responsibility for myself and in that to prolonging my experience of shame and regret within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind excuses and justifications as apparent reasons for me to continue waiting to apply Self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that self-forgiveness is not necessary to be spoken out laugh.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that self-forgiveness is something that can wait instead of seeing that it is with self-forgiveness spoken out laugh that I free myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel shame and embarrassment of speaking self-forgiveness out laugh.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience embarrassment when I do self-forgiveness before myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that embarrassment can exist in oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have prejudice towards Self-forgiveness without seeing that SF is the way that I must take to free myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be one and equal to irresponsibility and to be lost in the mind within it.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that irresponsibility, lack of self-discipline and self-will can exist if I am one and equal to all of existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in those 3 points and manifest separation and shame in my world and in my life so far.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have to wait for so long to see and write and speak Self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in the mind as the system, which is so manifested in me – fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the vary manifestation of fear itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself this fear within me to become so manifested and eventually to transform itself into anger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself and exist as anger and angry person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the only one I was angry to was me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exert y anger towards someone or something outside of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to see that in ding so I only compound my anger inside of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight and argue with my grandmother and grandfather.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exert my anger and frustration that I had towards myself on to them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive and actually believe that I was angry to them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at my mother.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exert my anger on my mother as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and think that it is my mother who makes me angry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this anger I felt and saw constantly and continuously in my world had nothing to do with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am not the reason of all of that which happened in my world and my life so far.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to see that what was in was also out, manifesting my life moment after moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to see that this anger situations had nothing to do with the other people in them but were manifesting in my life because of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at others and not seeing that who I was angry to was hidden deep inside me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play anger tennis with outer people, friends and family just to prove my points, opinions and believes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value to my opinions and believes and to think that it is something worth defending and be angry to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in oneness and equality can exist opinions, judgment or believes that cause anger and friction between beings

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to such believes and opinions and actually defend them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to defend my opinions and believes in anger tennis mach and in that to support not only mine but enslavement of all as equal and one to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as and become the very manifestation of anger as the essence of being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give power to the unified consciousness field thought e arguing with other being about polarity-based topics.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate anger towards somebody else in that anger tennis fights.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have anger fights based on polarity with other beings instead of me actually apply myself, as it was explained by dimensional being and many forum member.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believed that I was defending something while I was arguing with other beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to see that there is a difference between being angry and being right and the two don’t necessarily do hand in hand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to argue and try to convince other people about something and in that to get angry at them when I fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my self-control outside of me in other beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my calmness and discipline on to somebody else through having certain expectations and naturally when I lose my expectations to get angry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this emotion, this anger that I felt inside me was actually real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give power to the mind by me existing in anger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that anger is something real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see now what was so obvious all along.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anger and judgment toward myself for forgiving myself now for this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself for doing all of this that I’ve wrote above instead of me taking self responsibility and do forgiveness on this anger and judgment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuel this anger emotion more and more each time when I got angry at myself for not do self-forgiveness earlier.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and be angry on my process and myself as it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself through all my life so far to not see that the reasons for that anger exist nowhere else but inside of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted, allowed myself to be so afraid of me, and in that fear of facing myself to actually support once again the systems inside of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself away to fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that fear is real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to one and equal to this fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as fear and to manifest it in my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel anger towards those that I feared, because I now can see that the only one I feared and was angry towards was me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself through out all those years in school to allow to be bullied and abused by others and not have the courage to stand and defend myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself because of that and become emotional.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not step up for me because of fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself away to this fear and in that to manifest it in my life and then become angry at myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest suppression inside me because of that fear and hat anger that were so compounded inside of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fears and never before to actually face them with practical application in Self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel self pity for myself and hide my tears within my fears and my self-created hell within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferiority towards me because of my inability to run and play as the normal kids.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to my health.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge me for being not as other kids.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to everybody else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I cannot judge or compare myself to nothing or nobody in and of this word since all that exist is me and I am one and equal to each and every singe being in and of this existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest that judgment within myself thought all those years.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to express myself freely as I always wanted to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear judgment and in that fear to manifest anger inside and towards random people or myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the one that was angry and that was judging myself was me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to see all of this shit earlier.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore and wait to apply SF or write about it on the forum because I was afraid to actually admit this to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prolong my shit experience of guilt, anger, shame regret and fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to literally be possessed my fear all my life and allow that to become the vary nature of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people who judged me without seeing that those people do the same thing as me – allow themselves to be possessed my their demons and get it at someone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest laziness from fear of acting and applying self-forgiveness on what I saw that existed within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own hell and delay the self-forgiveness application for as much as I can.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be lazy and act irresponsible towards my own process not realizing that my process is one and equal to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act irresponsible towards my Self-forgiveness and Self-honesty applications.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not to be controlled and directed by me but by fear and in that manifest laziness- anger- judgment-inferiority-jealousy

It is amazing, isn’t it?
The way this world was set up!
You birth, you grow with no idea of what is really here at all!
Murder, hunger, death and rape and killings
–this is something normal, but waits
Let me tell you what I see
when I sit and start to listen,
listen to the voices inside me!
For how long we have existed like this,
for how long children have become parents
with no awareness of what is really going on!?
The world that seemed yes cruel and bad, now is completely gone!
Hell is what arrives in front of my eyes
and I finally see what I’ve accepted and allowed this world to be!
I’m asking myself now:
“But why! Why so few have stood up,
why so few have fought?
Is this all we are capable of?”
Why don’t we all stand as equal as one and say:
“Freedom or death! Today we stand for all that have fought!”
We won’t be the parents that did not say : “ Enough!” !
A new day is coming and our children with it,
are we going to fail them as our parents once did?
Too many have suffered too many have died
too many have vanished, silent into the night!
This world is a prison made of fear,
of what we have acknowledged, allowed and agreed to be here!
How long we have done this, and how long will it last?!
How many still have to fall for all
to have the courage to speak to stand up?!
This world is a prison, a hell of our own,
created from fear to face what we have become.
Chains, made of thoughts, lives build of lies
gently covered with hypocrite smiles!
We breathe, we walk but are we alive,
Or is this a dream, illusion of our eyes!?
For some this world provides homes, choosy and warm
for others it has become a living tomb.
Are we deaf? Are we blind? Why don’t we stand up and say:
” ‘Till here no further!
We are not going to be slaves,
born to die, living with no purpose but to survive!”
Is this live? What is life? For who is to decide?
For who is to decide how am I to spend the remaining days of my life?!
“I’m strong - I’m right
You are weak - you are wrong!”
Oh yes, we are living in the modern “ancient Rome”
I’m stopping, there is no use to write! Why? Well you tell me? Is this of use?
Are you goanna change you life or just leave this letter and let the days pass by!?
- I cannot do anything!-you say
- Can you not?
Who knows?! Will I give you the answer?
Absolutely not!

Voice

Nelly’s “little” Experiment

Hi everyone, I want to share with you my experience of me during my 21-day experiment! As you know, I post a topic in the private forum about this - no music, no masturbation, no TV, no chocolate, nothing of my previous entertainments.
It is fascinating because yesterday I was so God DAMN angry with myself for making that decision and posting a topic in the forum. Why? Because I previously would break, what I’ve said especially with regards to music because music and dancing is like water to me! Well it WAS like water to me, amm also masturbation…but probably with everyone.
So yesterday, I was angry, annoyed and frustrated at myself extensively! Bored… and I wanted to smack my head against the wall because I knew that with me posting a topic in the forum is like singing a contract with the people in the forum. Because I knew that I’ve said to all of you as me as one with me that I’m going to do this, so I cannot break what’ve said because that will be self-dishonesty! Therefore, I’ll have to write in the forum that I’ve failed and apply Self-forgiveness in Self-honesty and go thought that point - and that is something that I HATE! Admitting my mistakes is really something that makes me nuts! And it is because of me hating to be SH in the first place, I knew that I’m going to do this-and I hated that! I hate doing the “right” thing! Why because I got so used to choose the easy and not the right thing to do that I had become the very nature of me! And now there I was caught in my very words! I said I’ll do it and I knew that I’ll do it because I said that I will! And that made me MAD last night! You know when you see a drug addict to go thought abstinence stage LOL! Well I was exactly there!
No matter what I did or where I look I saw boredom and boredom and boredom! I got so damn bored that I studied all day, watched and read desteni videos and articles an in 11 o’clock pm I started to tidy my room! Aww… and of course I was FUCKING angry at myself because I knew that I’m stuck here with my unspoken agreement with my SH and there was no way out! I read the comments of the people in the forum trying to assist me but I just didn’t listened!
Aldin, Jorn, Chris thank you guys, for assisting me, but who to listen!?
I was so damn frustrated that wasn’t able to see clearly.
Today I see! It was the mind yesterday that was bored! It was the mind yesterday that was angry. It was the mind yesterday that wanted to scream!
I can see now that these emotions, feeling, thought, conclusions of boredom, irritation, anger were of the mind. This yesterday wasn’t me in anyway whatsoever! The mind wanted to be back to the old ways of preprogram and preoccupy me! You couldn’t believe if I write the thoughts that came in my head! It is unbelievable really! Thoughts that I couldn’t conceive even existing inside me, as me, as the nature of me!
When I woke up this morning I realized something, that these emotions, feeling and thought ware there to show me what I’ve accepted and allowed to exist within me! And I didn’t see them because I was preoccupying myself with my habits!
AMAZING!
I thought that I transcendent the point of anger-I shown to myself that I didn’t! I thought that I transcended the point of fear and jealousy - I wasn’t and I prove that to me yesterday! Really when you make such experiments on yourself to check how your process is going you become so surprised of what is really in you and where you are in your process at the moment!
Yesterday I was emotional, not I’m calm and I can tell that this 21 day will be very useful and interesting to go through! To see my reactions my thought and my feeling towards my habits and installed behavior models of the past! I’m actually smiling right now at myself, at my stupidity and the way I acted yesterday! Now I’m actually having quite a bit of fun stopping thoughts and transcending them! There are actually tears in my eyes no because I guess I’m happy that I can be SH and write this!
Ok I’m done for now!

Hi, to the people in desteni forum I am Nelly! It is amazing how I changed for one year! My whole world turned 180 degrees but what is strange and amazes me is that I am still HERE! I am all right! I want to thank for the major assistance that desteni gave me and also to the dimensional beings as well. THANK YOU!
I do not know what to say now because I feel very strange but in the same time angry for not seeing the obvious truth before!
Anger towards me!
We didn’t do anything to change anything! I remembered what Anu said about: “You can’t even change…!” –he is right
The system always stays the same.
I’m mad from anger because our parents and their parents and their parents “lived” their lives according to the rules witch THEIR parents told them. But if we look at this:
We are NOW the children of TOMORROW! Why we are so afraid of break the rules of this illusion and create a world in which there are no rules but one and that’s to EXPRESS – LIFE!
I’m not going to be DOLLY-the sheep. I want to be ME! I want to be FREE – HERE and NOW! And I don’t want to continue like that until one day my children turn to me and ask me: “Mommy why the world is bad?! Why people kill themselves?! Why there are prisons?! Why some people starve? And why there are some people who suffer and others not!?
What Am I doing to say to them?! How am I doing to explain to them that they are organic robots, born into the world of systems? Slaves to illusion! How will I survive when they look at me with the same sadness and anger I now look our forefathers and my parents? And this anger is to me as well!
Why did we fear to stand up to the rules when the people who made them are dead! We are living in the past and if we are living in the past we are not living but dreaming! And every time when I want to quit and give up I WILL KNOW that this is again the mind! When you want to be somewhere, else something else! You want to be in a place where all is well and! Where you wouldn’t have to deal with those felling and memories of the past! A place where it’s peaceful! But you can not escape from this reality! You can not leave you can not hide you can not pretend you can not close you eyes because eventually you will HAVE TO SEE! THAT: What I AM can not quit can not break down! What is real can not be denied although it can hide for a while! I cannot I will not give up!
NO MORE! I’m waking up! Standing up! I’m taking this process and will walk through it until the end of this MESS! Until it’s done! Until the screams stop, until the tears dry out, until the killers stop to kill, and the rappers stop to rape until there are no rich and no poor people. Until we accept the equality of nature and all life as us! Until we turn this world into ONE and QUEAL to LIFE AS US! As whom we really are! I will not stop! Until it’s done until it’s done until it’s DONE!